Well, holá. I rather like the look of this one. I mean, it's obviously a Seat Leon – a not unattractive family hatchback, but hardly one to stir the soul; showing its age a bit, too, to be honest. But this is the special sporty Supercopa edition. In Spain, where Seats come from, of course, the Supercopa is a football competition played between the team that won La Liga and the team that won the Copa del Rey. In other words, this is the Seat FA Community Shield. Suddenly it doesn't look so hot.

To be fair, football isn't really the right sport to be talking about here. The Supercopa was developed and built in conjunction with Seat's motor sport division (which has a couple of World Touring Car Championship titles to its name). And it looks like it. The Seat Sport people have given it a makeover: new bumpers front and rear, side skirts (phwoar), and – spoiler alert! – a tailgate spoiler. Plus chrome-tipped twin exhausts, a set of BBS 18-inch alloys wheels…

I do apologise, I appear suddenly to be writing for Max Power magazine (even though it closed last year). But those alloys and the Supercopa bodykit do that to a man, bring out his inner hoon. Right, I'm off to Southend, to cruise up and down Marine Parade, or perhaps to find a car park where young people are hanging out with their cars, doing bad – possibly even illegal – things.

Oh, hang on, perhaps I'm not. I'm turning round – not a handbrake turn, or a half-doughnut, but a proper three-point turn, with plenty of checking each way for traffic. I'm not going to Southend after all. I'm going to Sainsbury's instead. Because it's not quite the car I thought it was.

Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad car to drive. If it wasn't for the bodykit, you'd be pretty impressed. The ride is firm but not impossibly so, it corners well, the two-litre turbo diesel engine has plenty of torque but is impressive rather than outlandish… Oops, drifting back into Max Power territory.

OK, in Guardian Weekend language, it's a sheep in wolf's clothing. No, not a sheep, something a bit better than a sheep. A chamois, or an alpaca maybe. And in lion's clothing, because that's what Leon means, in Spanish. Leon Trotsky? Not revolutionary enough. Leon Brittan? Not that conservative. Leon-ardo? Not ingenious enough. I'm thinking more Leona, as in Lewis – nice to look at, but a bit bland underneath, disappointing. Too mean? Back to the beginning, then: it's a Seat FA Community Shield. And I'm not sure one of them is worth 22 and a half thousand quid.

Seat Leon FR+ Supercopa 2.0 TDI CR 170 PS

Price £22,530
Top speed 133mph
Acceleration 0-62mph in 8.2 seconds
Average consumption 55.4mpg
CO2 emissions 134g/km
Eco rating 7/10
Cool rating 7/10