Folklore exists as to why the Subaru WRX STI looks the way it does. Long ago (2011), the Japanese marque unveiled the fourth-generation Impreza at a big motor show. Drums rolled and the satin coverlet was swept off. The car, while still high-performance, had been remodelled to look like one of those cars the minicab firm sends when they’re picking up from the shops and know you’re only going 1.2 miles. There was disappointment, laughter even. “Never again,” shouted the designer, shaking a fist at the heavens (in my imagination).
And so the WRX was born, painted an outrageous blue and complete with a spoiler. When you look in the rear-view mirror, this gives the impression that you’re being chased by a low-flying fighter jet. But that only makes the drive more exciting.
Everything that could have been done to beef up the engine has been done: it’s now a 2.5-litre monster, the famous Boxer design (which gives it a low centre of gravity, making it more stable) tinkered with to reduce the lag. Estimates vary on its 0-62mph acceleration (the official line is 5.2 seconds). It pumps out CO2 like there’s literally no tomorrow.
The revving is ridiculous. Coming off every traffic light, you sound as though you’re challenging the rest of the road to a duel, like a character in Grease. Then you have to make a sheepish face, to show you mean no harm. Then a follow-up face to clarify: it’s not my fault I made that ridiculous noise, it’s this ridiculous car. Then people make faces at you: “What do you want with me, gurning woman?” It’s like an anthropological exercise, returning to a time before language.
The cabin looks cheaper than it ought to, but the main problem is, it isn’t very comfortable. The seats are hard, and I found myself shuffling about in search of an ideal posture that didn’t exist. But that didn’t dent the sense of adventure. It was a curious drive that always felt about 20mph faster than it was. “No, no, no!” I’d cry to myself. “This is a residential street, this is your street, stop driving at 40”, only to find I was doing 18mph. On country roads, it felt as though I was about to evaporate into the hedges at 52mph. Before this, I thought the poke of a car was, like cashmere, all about knowing it was there by the fact that you forgot it was there. Apparently not; considerable driving pleasure can be had from feeling as though you’re about to take off when you’re going as fast as a coach whose speed has been limited for its own safety.
There would be so many things to justify to yourself if you wanted to own it: the emissions, the attention-seeking – I can’t see how you would. But if you’re someone whose own pleasure were its own justification, well, I can just see you with a spoiler.
Subaru WRX STI: in numbers
Price From £28,995
Top speed 159mph
Acceleration 0-62mph in 5.2 seconds
Combined fuel consumption 27.2mpg
CO2 emissions 242g/km
Eco rating 2/10
Cool rating 6/10
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