It’s white, black and red, and everything that isn’t striped is festooned with a fancy piping; the Twingo looks like an 80s stereo or duvet cover. Its name autocorrects to “twinge”. I drove back from Winchester with a friend who thought the shiny red dashboard looked like a cream egg. It felt as though the wind might blow us into a new lane and I was glad of my friend’s weight, though it is by no means impressive. The Twingo is so light and nimble, it feels as though you could increase the heft of the car just by having a substantial meal. Having the engine in the back gives it an eerie noiselessness that makes the weather seem louder. It’s all in the mind, this stuff – in general, it is size not weight that tells for safety, and the manufacturers say this is their safest Twingo. Have a word with your prejudices (I’m talking to myself).
Besides, motorways aren’t really the point of this car – the driving posture keeps you straight-backed and alert, raring for the roundabout, not the one-hand-on-the-wheel executive cruise. The dash tells you nothing but your speed. By contrast, there is a lot going on in the central bank, a pinch-screen satnav, and the ability to Bluetooth to a phone so seamlessly that you can discover your friend was listening to Sade before he’s even sat down.
It fits five people with surprisingly little hassle, for such a pointedly small car (it’s the first time they’ve had a five-door model), though I wouldn’t want to overstate anybody’s comfort but my own (I was all right, Jack). The turning circle makes you drive like Michael Caine (I am a little bit cheeky, but hot damn, I’m good at it).
Mainly because it is wee, partly because of the reversing camera, getting into a space was so neat and easy that I looked back in anguish at all the time I’ve spent trying to wedge a Passat into a resident’s bay. The fuel economy is about as good as it gets for a petrol engine, even such a small one – 65mpg in the Eco mode. I had Eco on most of the time, it didn’t have a noticeable impact on the acceleration, though don’t walk away with the idea that the acceleration felt effortless.
I’m not sure that this car would feature in anybody’s wish fulfilment fantasy; but I think if you had already bought it, then been dropped into your fantasy life (as a ninja or a model or whatever), you would find it had more brio, welly and pizzazz than you expected.
Renault All-New Twingo Dynamique S ENERGY TCe 90 Stop & Start in numbers
Price From £12,545 (as tested £13,165)
Top speed 103mph
Combined fuel consumption 65.7mpg
Acceleration 0-62mph in 10.8 seconds
CO2 emissions 99g/km
Eco rating 7/10
Cool rating 6/10
